Dear Baby,

This hasn't been a good week for us. Since I heard my friends news, i've gone to bed crying and woken up crying every day. I even cried on the bus on the way to work.

She can't understand why i'm not being supportive. How do I explain to her that everytime I think about having to watch her grow bigger I feel actual pain? She has what I can't have and I want it so badly. I'm even jealous of her morning sickness! What would I give to have that? I'd give up everything we own right now.

I can't hide it from her and why should I? She's my friend. If I can't be honest with her then who? But she really doesn't understand and is feeling hurt. I don't know what to do.

Love, Mom xxx