Dear Baby, 

Today was a difficult one.  A friend had a beautiful baby girl this morning.  Conceived a couple of months after the wedding, around the time we had hoped we might be pregnant with you.  And now she has her baby and we're not even close to getting there.  

I think i've been less maudlin this last week, mainly helped I think by the fact that I have my next appointment for bloods next week, closely followed by your dad having his spermies checked!  

We did make a decision this week though.  We're planning a big holiday next year.  Hopefully Mexico, where we honeymooned.  If you come along by then, great.  If not, we have something to look forward to before we start treatment.  

I'm talking less about all this to people now.  No one really understands.  No one we know anyway.  They look sympathetic for a moment then you can see them thinking "why is she still whinging about this"?  Shortly followed by "relax, it will happen"  THE most irritating thing in the world to say to a woman who wants a baby and it hasn't happened to.  Well meaning, I know, but they may as well tell me i'm doing something wrong, as everyime someone says it to me, that's how I feel. 

Oh, and we bought a pool!  I've spent the last few days relaxing in it in the sun.  Now if that doesn't "relax me and it'll happen" then I don't know what will!!!

Love, Mom x